I know. It’s been like a couple of months since I last posted. Max only has like 2.5 weeks left in the Brain Balance program. I have a lot to catch up on, but I don’t want to worry about that right now. I just want to record something that happened and what it made me think about.
Today we were at the splash park. We go to 1 of about 6 different splash parks at least a couple times a week. It had been almost a week since we had last been and Max was getting really anxious to go. He would keep saying “wador, wador” or “lessgoaside”(let’s go outside) and I knew it was time to blow off some steam. On this particular day, I was constantly rerouting Dempsey away from other people’s snacks and she was getting very upset with me. After about 20 minutes of this, I knew it must be time for lunch so I picked her up and went to go get Max out of the water.
I really didn’t want to go so soon. I just stood there with Dempsey screaming in my ear, but I just had to watch Max for a minute. He was in a different world. He was laughing, running, giggling, and shrieking with pure joy as he let the water spray him in the face–totally oblivious to everyone. When I called out his name and told him it was time to go, he immediately snapped out of his world and I could tell he was seriously trying to concentrate on what I was telling him.
As I reflected on this event, it occurred to me just how much of a verbal/language dependant world we live in. Sometimes I try really hard to relate to what my children are going through. I always think I have some idea because I learned a 2nd language(Spanish), but it’s not really the same experience as learning to communicate for the first time. I had English to refer back to and I also had general social skills in which I could communicate with beyond language. However, my children have no basis for reference, they don’t understand gestures, expressions, or body language. I sometimes wonder how frustrating it must be to live in a world where they are expected to put meaning to all the garbled sounds they hear all day long, when their tiny brains so clearly operate in an entirely different way.
As much as modern medicine has decided that they are “delayed” and somehow have a “disorder” I so desperately want to enter their world one day. It seems blissful.
I have no doubt that someday they will explain it to me.